Deactivated by Insecurites

Dear Mitch,

I am writing to you about my health and motivation.  The fact of the matter is, I need to start exercising because I eat like garbage, and it’s just good to be in shape.  The problem is it is very difficult for me to find the motivations, and because I am really insecure.


I am slender, but I have a difficult time getting over this when I decide I need to work out.  It feels like all eyes are on me, and people are judging me because I’m young and out of shape.  It terrifies me to be judged by my peers because I have experienced people judging and bullying me.

How can I get over fear of people judging me, especially about my body?  I know people aren’t really focused on me, but I’m still desperately insecure!  I really want to conquer my insecurities – not only so I can feel confident about myself, but so I can be healthy mentally and physically as well.

Thank you,

Deactivated By Insecurities

Hey Deactivated,

 OK Readers: Raise your hand if you’ve NEVER felt at ALL self-conscious and/or insecure about your “appearance” in a gym!.. And I thought I was the only one!!

 “People Who Go To The Gym” is a subculture… A group whose members identify at least somewhat with the group, and has at least some affect on the members.  For example People Who Go To The Gym include a  reasonable percentage of people who appear to be in fairly good shape (Note: APPEAR)!  Yep, go to the gym and there’s guys with serious 6-pack abs, monstrous biceps, toned everything… And that’s just the dudes!

Meanwhile, we have national Obesity and Diabetes issues… Maybe our general population isn’t well represented by “People Who Go To The Gym”.

Hey, it’s natural to “compare” and make assumptions about ourselves based on our subcultures.  You’re not strange for looking at other people in your shared groups for “comparison”…

A great place for you to start is your verbage, like:  “I need to start exercising”.. Sounds like a mandate from the oppressive regime!  Says WHO you “need” to start exercising?..

● Who owns your body?  Ever consider the fact that our media feels entitled to your body rights?  Yep, everywhere you go, someone is telling you, “You’re NOT good enough!  There’s ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING you MUST HAVE to be OK – And WE sell it!”

Frankly, exercising to please a husband, boyfriend, girlfriends, whoever FEELS LIKE SLAVERY!  Between the media and anyone else who you feel you might “exercise for”, insecurity is BORN, even IF we didn’t have plenty of other insecurity triggers!

Thus: Drop thoughts of “needing” to exercise!  Obliterate that tension!  Give the “shoulds” back to whoever threw them in your face!!

● Just what does “exercising” MEAN to you?!  When we’ve “gotta” do something, where’s the fun in that?!  Doesn’t sound like it comes from within YOU, does it?

  If you REALLY want to “start exercising”..

 ~ Stop calling it “exercising”… UNLESS that word turns you on!  How about “Playing”, “Powering Up”…. Or “Personal Empowerment”?!..  Which would YOU LIKE to be doing- Apply that term to what you’ve called “exercising”!!

      ~  THEN, choose “Personal Empowerment” (or whatever term you like) activities which are not a total drag!!..

DON’T get on a treadmill day after day if you abhor it!!  Find something FUN or interesting to do that’s active, and your “Personal Empowerment” will come naturally!  I love to shoot baskets – Blending that in with the variety of cardio equipment at my gym (Cal Fam Fitness) makes my workouts MUCH more enjoyable, and I’m inspired to do it!

      ~ Last column, I nudged readers to learn the definition of the term “namaste’.. Part of that term acknowledges the light within YOU… The fact that YOU are valuable REGARDLESS of whether you exercise or not!

This is YOUR life, your body, your mind and your soul.  While you DO have a karmic “debt” to take care of all three, you owe nothing to others except as your self-care affects them!  Taking care of yourself IS important for those you love, but it is of NO VALUE unless you start with LOVING YOURSELF!

Doing anything solely for someone else only builds resentment!  And that increases cortisol production, which counteracts some of your “Personal Empowerment” goals…

      ~ Finally, speaking of GOALS!!  Once you take ownership of your body and yourself, choose YOUR Goals!  Make them realistic, but a stretch, and measurable-tangible.. And, GO FOR IT!!



Republished with permission from foreverinspiredblog